not dead,not so alive either

weh sorry
i guess this was my first post after a very long gap
ermm..oke not gap more like a dead blog
i'll post an follow up blidersh soon
as if anyone give a shhhhhh
haha
k la ttyl
:D

FORGOTTEN

hello

ok i wouldn't start out with complaining about previous weeknd. the past 2  days were bliviously a not so great weekend. uhhhh on satuday i was ditched all alone wen all the clique suddntly unavailable. izree was talking cock, ahfat get his plan wif naddy and others wasent tot of me.

haih.

pegh perengan pertama sja meliatkan ku mempertikaikan situasi yg tidak adil ini.neway satu perkara yg ku pastinya moe hentakkan kepala di bucu adalah acara yg penting aku segaja lupe atau mmg meant to lupe.iyaini dinner akhir tahun graphic department.diamana uwangnya aku suda baya and as well the reservation for seat.omg.sumpah perkara kecil begini selalu sja ter slipped away pada pemikiaran sempit ku nih.apa yg overload tak tau la.moe saja ku put the blaming on other cause tak warn me about it.as if such a big deal tapi to be think a bout it carefully,its me yg pagen mengigati tarikh2 penting lalu implikasinya adalah septi ni.haih the fist things wen i woke up today  regrating about the dinner i missed out..pepek btullah. well klu di pikirin kembali ada saja teman2 yg pergi di mana hilang nya mereka.boleh sje if thr txted me and ask regrading the dinner.haih now ku seperti hilang arah regrading this people.it seem the sincerity and obligation towards one another slipping away like a gloomy clowd that had been hectric away by great sea of tornado..okey it seem exaggerating more than i supposed tapi to be honest it was frustrating lah..

well the first saturday of may kicking off borely, spt perengan di ats di mana pendahuluan ku dah start mention about how boring it was. tapi mende dah pass.so let it be, well that nite ku dpt hang out wif najwa and ahfat sume setelah berjam2 menggagau sesorang..between the fuckin alone ku bump on emma,hahah cam biasak la ku buat2 taknapak.malas nak layan tade mood.and other yg ku bumb juga yg dimana ku cuba untuk membuat taknapak.lalu kantoi.since diorang yg tego,m cool lah.owh well this saturday suck gileeee..ahhh suckk got home at erm..tatau wat time and was starring at my laptop for superr long b4 ku get to sleep.haha bdo gile.

ahad juga sepertinya kickin off suck.tapi buleh la.dimana aku ader plan, bebudak subang played gig and their invited me.since ku jdi super broke which i had like 5 ringit je ku redah jugak g kl naik bas dow..tak best btl.miskin dan tade uwang.as i reach kl kul 4, the boys dah start to ply..perg lagi la minimalst ku nye harapan nak masuk kan,txt ahfat.tade gune since takdapat perusade him to get me in.tunggu je la luar.pastu nampak najmi luckly lah.he wanted to get in.ayam kuar gat me the passes and wallah m in...in side adlah perak.di penuhi peeerak2 tah dari mana,ade yang  manpak seperti indon sume lah.sungguh mual meliat sekitar.dah la tade awek.denggg after all the gig done kiteorang off ke kete.ku sungguh lapar gile,g sje 7-e with harapan jojo blanje demm nye jojo he short of cash.well lapa an..dush one marsh candy bar ku took fo free dari 7-e hahaa pencurik doww..

as it goes flown dragging away the sorrow joy of my pathetic ish for the past 2 day, ku nk summerize kan that eventho life ini sudah pasti di penuhi rancangan yg warna warni spt jalan raya yg di bomb oleh super suday..hahah kerap adanya lencongan dan road block juga so..if ader road block pepandai la lari masuk semak sume.that wut appen wen all my plan goes to semak.

motherf betul.

up turn

yess

it another day that i gone tru prfectly dope and useless, as day kickin off with huge drastic of immigitation of one self admire,whreby an glorious promises are ditch far away from my self-cntious ..tu la spe suruh tido lewat,smbil meletakan harapan tuk bngun awal kerap nih berlakunya tido yg carried away.so in other word ku tak pergi class tadi.the nx period ku woke up adalah ketika recive txt frm sha.its was a complain regrading the lomo cam.haih nak tak nak kene naik fact.uuhhh it was late and once for about forever ku skipped lagi friday pray.like it was meantd.ape2 je la.once ku in the bus nak masuk uni the guard jdi rajin plak nak check all the people.ader id card or not.hekele kecah dow. and all pass with flaying clr except this mak cik indon she work for the uni kot.ntah la.the guard seem mbbling sumthig since i was all in stuffed with metal song wasent really pay attention lah.

on my way to fact, i was goin thrgh a group of my jr.and supricly one of them wave at me..well i thk its me lah since takde orang lain there, my reaction was stuffing..hahah like between shocked and dont gv a shit.haha wtever lah.then m off my way pass the lomo and off to kl.haih bosan gile takde yg menaris moe dipandang kiri dan kanan hanya longgokan manusia yg berpusu ke kl , arus yg semakin menyepit dan lembab bikin ku ngatuk.ble la nak smpi kl.almost one hour di jlnraya ku smpi ke kl.trs ngabil tren ke pudu.masih kelihatan kanak2 kecil pulang dari sekolah diantaranya imigrant yg berseklh di kl.terutama indo yg tah nape ku dok terbump sme budak2 seklh indo nih..sumpah chomel2 dow.plus thir notice my hair.weeee..its a ugly hair do neway.owh sesampi je hadapan kedai yg develop lomo ku dap dap dap hati  berdegup.since ku tatau how was the result.hpe tak cacat.the chinese woman tke more thn 10mnt cri ku nye pic..ku dah start runsing nih.mane la tau tak jdi an the pic.haih mamposs.neway dr tadi sorang cutmr asy tangkap gambr nrusi fish eye dia.cm nak menunjuk je.ape je la dow maslh dia.well ku dpt the reslt lomo it was oke.haha then ku off ke kl.

otw ke kl.chie txtd ajk lepak.woah best2 ku hang sme dia kat darus,cite ttg life and such she was complainin about her BFF and  BF and her stdy.haha nk juga ku tnye kan dia pasal fara.but wtf she was dominnat kan so iya kan je la wif her stry we talk about marrige and stuff, as well the promise that she made me make yg if bth of us  tak kawin in 10 years then i had to marry her.erk..wat was tht?well i was talking trash she pissed hahaha

 

zum zum zumm were off she is leaving and i was off to birthday party.it was oke la..eventho sume tak knl an..afat was in rush we  leaving at 12 yati ask for dropped off kat s.a, and me too..i reach home at 12 mthng ahfat went to cyber stone..hahaha here i am writting the blog at 4 am wif overwhelimg commnt try ms and ym ku still smpt wish her nite.as usual.ahh happy is i cld lepak wif her talking about sky and sun as taking lomo pic...which is never will happen..hahah

Hari Buruh.

okeyyyyy

its holiday people ( by the time i worte this its already friday,well sort of la since m writing in between time) normal day when traffic getting more massive and shopping mall crowed as there is free give away. hehe, okey that the deal for each hols lah. we should be thankful for the bless as the is more hols then working period.

Harinya bermula indah sekali, di saat pagi ku bangun waahh sudah genap hampir lewat satu owhiya pastinya satu itu bukan lah wktu pagi tetapi sudah di tghari..haha jika tidak kerana menonton bola mlm kelmarin pasti boleh sje ku bgun pagi. well ku capai tepon  dok pikir spe yg harus ku txt, sepolh minit belalu kiranya aku bukan berfikir but dok ngadap pc. layan ms neway ku TXT sara tasha as she promise to have lunch wif me.as result she's in kl and wont be by the time one called 'lunch' more like a late tea je.heks so terpaksa lah ku tangguh janji2 manis nya mergikut kesesuaian masa,jdi supposed today (fri) dia belanja aku lunch yeay! well ku txt zul ask the same thing ,ges wut luck is my side wen si gile tuh kate moe fetch ku. so after a while siap2 ku g a makan.sesampainya zul ku ask him if he wanted to invite diah. * one ironic thing is we invite her to get her pissed at us.oh my such a non-gud friends we are..  because of the evil idea she wasent free ..oke lah we cont makan

the time is 2 m dropped off at the train, since m goin to kl..zul and mas not katanya ada exam.*haih scary la exam i havent done thgs for it.so ku off ke kl sorang2 cam gile. the super slow train pack wif all the bangla, indon, jawa and i cant really describe which country does all this people from.man liat saja keadaan train nih. pack mcm harritege row semalam. and the BO ohh so out frm this world.gile beb jika ader makcik yg pragnent pasti nya suda pitam.or worst bleh kene kejutan rupa.well semasa trus nyusuri landasan besi dan bunyi2 keperbagaian bahsa di dlm train ku terima TXT msg dari ayu.kata nya tak buleh join lepak since she wif othr clique, the other msg ku rcive are frm yasmin.saying that she'll be at OU, my tought was vary.shld ku lepak sme Ecah or min.hrmm..

sesampai je ku kat mid dem rupanya sini lagi la rmi umat yg ku tatau mane datang nya.jika di liat peta atau koordinasi penduduk sekitar tidak la mencecah angka sedayst ini.kebarangkalian untuk sesebuah mall menerima kejutan pengunjung yg sebegini ramai adalah pasif..ternyata hari buruh memberi bayak buruh kasar masa untuk shoppin mahupun lepak yg tidak terbeda.okey sekali lagi ku membelek pone jika ada sisir2 lefted msg yg tidak ku bc lagi.oh tidak ada.imaginasi ku je kata cam ader.hah ku off ke topshop.wah banyak minah2 indon dan cina kokak di sini..hah acara cuci mata.

few minit pass still havent recive any msg frm ecah,guess she went deft as the last msg i sent. or just being deaf.hrm eithr way its reach almost 430 and she havent apper where in the first plce she strgly insint to meet at 3.gile awal. in the quest wating the light of dope ecah ku bump on skila.uhh wif hijab nampak.haha lawak. we chatted and her last paper is..urhh today.yeah made me wonder again mine is on?.owh 9..god  again the feeling made me realise i havnt done shits.hah but cam biasak la kejap je the feeling then we move on, as i get my way to mph ecah call.she sound like a cool person eventho she knew m pissed.."yeah at mph k i waited..dont u worry gonna get there like 5 minits. just chill allrite?"..ye la 5 mint dia.sumpah 30 mint bru dia muncul itu pun di mng..gile tatau beza mng sme mph ke?tau la ader words M infrnt.well whole day ku follow dia browsing stuff.as ku browsing gilrssssss..hahah owh no not indon or bangla girls oke this is the coutmr yg ader anrd mid v.  selain dari ku ade capit, izar and the girls kat UM which ku tatau wuts her name.she seem nice.haha 

7 we makan.ecah blajer its so dem hard to perused her its like menolak sebuah kuda untuk masuk ke dalam van.evntho it not possible ttp sgt susah..well at the end she did la blanje..hah thanks ecah! kmi makan besa di kfc yg sekali lagi PACK gile..haih KFC je kot..itu pon nak pack ke?.orang kl nih tak pernak makan kfc ke ape after the makan , after that kmi reramai buying toiletries kat watson kmi decide tuk pulang whereby ecam moe ke pwtc HUJAN ader show,*owh she is manager hujan so u got the picture rite. dia ajak kiteorang..hrmm tade kete takmoe la.as well the rest..sume cam penat je.haha penat cuci mata dow. ku reach home at 10 browsing MS and check mail sume..and wishing SHE was online..hah she did tapi just after awhile ku online, tot nak say hie.tapi..herm semalm dah say hie  today pon nak ke?cam irritating je..k la just a simple nite2 wish ku txted kat pone haih ble la nak serius2 ni uhhh wut a day.finally ku got to hang wif pretty gud time.bleh a kire since all kick off gud.

owh there 2 thng shocked me 

*1st is frenkie gimmie her num tru MS

*2nd thig gal i dont noe pon give her num tru hp..

erk? apakah?

well apa sajalah as long dosent mke me a clown..like wut fara peeps said i was last week.

herm ari nih *jumaat pastinya sgt pack.uhh moe ngabil lomo and seeing sara and owh ambik thesis and yeap sattle kan MAJOR WORK...which is ku tak buat ape lgi.

ahhh scaryyyyyyyy

one whole day

hohoho its about 12 oke its just 1130 midnight.well my day went off awkward
ku bangun agak pagi sedang mamai2 melawan nafsu ieja call saying that she's otw suda.omg i was like on the end of very high cliff..off selepas menekan punat hang up.zaass ku menerjah tandas.dem it was fast..all the way to fact ieja was talking about her cousin.as usual the topic will be on her life that lately getting nowhere..ku tenang aja dengar luahan2 dia.selang minit ku celah mungkin tertawa kecil atau nasihat yg pada ku tidak membantu,well it a way it sound sarcastic. till afternoon kmi di fact.dalam ketakharuan itu ku ketemu puan ida asking for the review paper.but she said 'no' dont have..wtf.so now aku lagi pusing bagaimana nih koq moe access nya bila ku ga ada nih kertas..haih mengeluh panjang ku.well the whole morning was a waste..selang minit ke 12 thri ramai yg membuat keputusan untuk luch..ahhh makan..still aku frust nih tiada kertas..tapi nafsu makan lebih menang dalam bab ini..truss kmi off makan,and as usual tmpt makan adalah di mamak sek 7.adeh kerap sgt makan di stu membuat kan ku hilang rasa dow.eventho lambakan aweks makan dia sne..still m tired of their fud.ku lari dari sana mencari lebihan lauk di sebelah teryata lebih meyelerakan.yay.hrmm.. yada2,kmi pulang ke rumah as ieja was planning her afternoon with power nap and stuff ahah iya la ieja.pasti nya tidur nya tdi terbawa2 ke petang.
well ku juga tertdio smpi ptg asalnya mhu ambil uwang dari abg nazir kini dia kata duit masih blum di tangan nya ku persis sja la apa yg pada mula nya mrupakn harapan ku untuk menapung kos cucian film.haih..tape la ku mmg moe ke kl nih anyhow,well ku off sje ke kl naikin bas on my way heading ke kl tdi ku sempat pulang melawati ibu,she was complainin about her stomach ache and berapa hal remeh, dihapan rumah pula kelihatan teman2 lama ibu ku, sedang asyik mengomel mungkin sedang bergosip atau membicarakan hal ekonomi tak pun mempertikai kan pimpinan pak lah..haha ape sajalah.agak lewat ku smpi ke kl. lewat pkl 5 ku smpi ke pudu.hanya beberapa minit sblum masa yg di bilang megat kedai nya akan tutup. dap dap dap ku lari..sesudah smpi di hadapan kendai kelihat di sign age nya tentera tutup pkl 7.ahhh kene scam sme megat nih..ku masuk kedai yg agak old fashion inter nya..ahh ape2 shajalah aslong dapat ku cuci lomo nih..the shop assisnt was nice she gimmie gud price and surprisingly it was way dari apa yg ku budject like less half.bagosss things seem oke nih.ku chow from there and wif receipt yg meminta ku kembali on fri.yay lomo siap on fri.weee

selang ku maju menuju ke arah train awam,terlintas di kepala ku untuk melawat fiq. teman sekolah yg kayak nya berjurang kini. walaupun bru minggu lepas rasa nya ku ketemu dia.haha
jdi teruss saja ku lewati bangunan usang dan kawasan lapang di sekitar pudu itu..berjalan kaki.
ahh suasana petang di kuala lumpur tidak banyak berubah. kiri kanan jam dan padat.di hentian bas pula sesak dengan perbagai kelompok masyarakat yang bermotifkan ingin pulang ini tidak termasuk lg para pelajar haha sudah berwarna warni keadaan nya..suhu sepetang tdi tidak memeritkan aku walaupun rasa mahu ku telan seliter air jika ada.haha bangunan usang sume merlihatkan pesat sungguh kawasan pudu membangun.ada kawasan yg pada ku sgt sesuai untuk di jdikan base photoshoot ku nx time.yay ader location secret.
neway genap pkl 7 ku smpi ke topshop.ahh dimana pule monyet nih.kiriman SMS ku nmpak nya tidak terbals ku SMS ke dua ku kirimkan juga tidak terbalas.owh mungkin dia ternyata tidak bisa membalas atau di kawasan lain.haih ku lewati aja pavilion dan pulang sblum itu tpi sempat ku membeli tees di paul and bear.
setibanya ku di rumah agak lewat keadaan jam yg sungguh meguji kudrat menyebab kan ku hampir tersembam kepenatan ku ngabil masa yg panjang untuk melayari internt invitation ke LAPSAP ku ingrod sje berikutan tiada kenderaaan teman2 rapat suma nya ke luarnegara mugkin bulan ini sume orang di berkati kecuali aku yang di timbukan timbuanan assignmnet nih.ngeeh..kelajuan internt yg menghampakan ini juga sudah berlarutan berminggu2 hanya kerana ada diantara kami taking the line for granted.haih hari ini jelas menunjkan bahawa tidak kerana kesorangan jika di mana-mana dan siapa siapa jika ada bahagian yang menyenangkan pasti situasi itu senang sekali
duh..pastinya aku ada banyak final assignmnt untuk di siapkan dan gamba artis untuk di edit.
haha
lousy lah

focus length

god gracious.
my bloodyroomate took he's bloody lens with out telling me, and that asshole left my cam uncover for like few hour on the floorrr..mothrfuckerrrrrr..till now m writing this pon he havent return that damm thing. i cant belive how stupid that asshole could be..dont he rellize how sensitive DSLR is?.bodoh la the one he used pon m yg get it for him,not eventually like buying for him ke ape,m the one who look for it.at least do give some respect to my stuff..sumpah bodo sialll..
haih..tu la bilang bodo pasti nya melenting, if tak cakap pula dah mmg terselah kebodohan tu.haih..apela bengapnya manusia babieeeee
ahh sudah la malas ku nak pikir.kejap lagi ku moe toptup dah nelefon lalu bertanya tentang kenapa sikap bodo nya itu tdak di praktikan ketika berhadapan teman wanita, ibu bapa dan teman2 rapat.sikap yg kononya matang slalu saja mengaburi masyarakt yg keliling dia.
ahh dem pone dia off plk..trick lame nih.

btw ku nak g mamak lepak...
tut..tut..tut..
well now dah almost kul 5 owh actully dah kul 5.10 gosshhhr pagi buta karang ku harus persuade diri untuk bangun awall haihh..apakah?..sedang ku meracau2 maip tup tap tup tap nrusi keyboard spoil huruf b nih kedngaran pintu utama di hempas..demm sume orang baru pulang dari nunton match mu sme barcelona rupe nya.haha match yg ku sangka the match of the year turns out to be clumsy as dope donkey ass..barcelona plays like sissy.evetho banyak try yg merapu.hrmm neway for the last few day starting on Monday ku mulai persan betapa bnyak nye word merapu mejadi highlight hidup ku..hah mcm tag blog..like ku merapu.like now sedang asyik ku merapu.roomate bodo ku yg lena tido di mana pda awalnya dia hilang lesap kononya pone tak berfungsi akibat penggunaan yg lebih..konon buzy la..buat bunyik sinis lak..si merapu pundek yg tak gune dah la tak tutup cover DSLR ku.demm u neway kembali bicara tentang merapu.hrmm..
apakah wujudnya barisan huruf yg mendefinisikan sifat tak keharuan manusia itu sebagai merapu?..ade ke kat dictionary?ado?..tado? ntah la..ku liat arca laluan hidup ku adalah tidak keharuan..kiranya dgn berbekal segumpal semangat pasif dapat ku tentang kekangan yg mendatang seperti memberi cpr kepada burung nuri yg overdose hohoh tidak masuk akal yaww
sepetang bersama crew2 di set lokasi pengabaran cite jgn main belakang memberi satu juta soalan.apakah hidup meraka ini juga merapu..meliat gelagat dee yg brlakon dunia baru tuh mmg lawak.tapi in realife she was serious person far away then the solitude she picture her self as.haih.ges sume pon mmg tak sure.payment dah la lmbat,nasib ku tak tabur janji2 manis kpd teman2 sebentr sebelum akhir nya set.klu tak mati wooo moe blanje makan bagai.wheww..tpi tape today meraka harusnya selesai bayar aku.today juga ku moe ke kuala lumpur cuci lomo.haih miskinn la begini.final juga smakin hampirrr
aduhhh tambahan beban nih...
ahh sudah la ku mulai ngatuk dan moe tidurin.
sape2 yg baca blog nih..mmg la tapaham ape yg ku nak focus kan nih..seperti tulisan seorang budak darjah enam yg kurang pemahaman tatabahasa cuba mendefinisi kan format thesis master dalam bahas jawi jelasnya.
kan? kan?..

persepsi atau driskiminasi

iya teman
persepsi
PERSEPSI
itu la yang sedang bermain2 di ruang kosong sewa tampa faedah kotak permikiran ku ini
tidaklah ianya menjadi satu bebanan kepada aku melainkan bersangkut paut atau berkaitan dgn diri ku ini,
still sje je nak tulis
so ape persepsi korang after read what yg ku intent nak nulis.
title nya saja memberil keperbagaian tanggapan.apatah lagi sebab,
tah pape saja moe nulis tentang sesuatu yg sendiri pon tak sure.
haih..ini lah persepsi.
pertamanya sekali sedang ku lepak2 mencari sesuatu untuk di buat
*realitinya ade berlambak kot keje skolah yg kene buat.
ku terlihat di kaca televisi tentang rancangan impian yg boleh jdi kenyataan..iya bukan lah nescafe kick start mahu pun fear factor.
kurang atau lebih kepada industri muzik di malaysia ini yg dimana termaktub sebuah khayalan, impian serta manipulasi
produk yg tidak berjaya (spt mawi)
anyways that not the point.
ah kejap hpe ku berbunyik.....
kembali kepada sisip sisip impian yg berlandaskan pada persepsi . di rancangan tersebut (berkumandang di stesyen hak milik media prima)
terlihat pengkritik2 nya yg jelas menunjukan penguasaan yg dominant dalam pemilihan perserta
yang berserah untuk di nilai
kasihan.
purata yg menghadiri nya adalah berbakat, jika di susun pastinya yg berbakat itu jauh seperti smart tunnel meninggalkan yg berparas rupa dan status.
well that life.somehow its was never fair and thus significantly stand for it self
haha masih agak klaka bagaimana perserta2 itu menerima hakikat bahawsanya diri mereka di kritik dgn perbagai perumpamaan karut.
haih road to be fame, its hard wasent it?..impliksi dari rancangan tersebut tidak lah memberi kesan kepada ku melainkan teman2 lain yg dari tadi asyik memberi komen serta teori betapa teruknya dan keji nya pandangan pengacara tersebut
hahaha apa sahaja..di akhir rancangan perserta terpilih bisa di tampal di hadapan majalah cleo karena paras rupa meraka adalah jauh dari expectation norms.
itu la..hanya kerana persepsi individu lekas shaja petah dlam mebuat keputusan.(termask aku)
wahal yg cantik itu tidak la seironi yg kita pikirkan...
pada ku persepsi itu seperti berjalan di rehab We will never know when and how to did we get there, but for sure we will be out from there with 1001 implication . Shortcut bisa menjadi baik, tapi bisa juga buntu.well itulah dia persepsi
tidak ada yg baik dan tidak pula yg ok ok
ahh sudah la ku mhu terus membaca blog..
dan membalas myspace.
sok skolah dan pasti nya aku akan menemui masalah dari tangguhan kerja lewat ini.
shits...